Hello friends,
I’ve been writing this newsletter for a few years now, but I’ve seen a decent influx of new people recently, so I figured it was time to share a bit about myself. If you haven’t read my About page, that’s a good place to start.
Ok, now that you’ve read that, here’s what else you need to know:
I don’t like bullshit. You may have figured that out by reading these letters. My parents used to tell me to say what I mean and mean what I say. I guess that stuck with me. I think honesty is more effective than beating around the bush or offering up lies of kindness. I also think there’s a line between being honest and being an asshole. You don’t have to be rude to tell it like it is.
I’m a true Florida girl, and I love citrus. I used to ask for a dish of lemons at restaurants as a kid. I didn’t want them for my water. I just wanted to eat them. My fridge always contains both orange juice and whole oranges. My parents took me and my brother camping once. My mom’s friend had a ton of land and invited everyone for a weekend. One morning, he announced he had freshly squozed orange juice. I still use the phrase. Pink grapefruits in particular taste like childhood. I eat them in a bowl so I can squeeze out all the juice when I’m done and sip it like soup.
I have a cat called Nyx. I adopted her after my dogs Mattie and Jade died. I also have five goldfish. I won Randy at the fair ten years ago. He was completely orange then. Now he’s almost entirely white. Sometime around 2017, I rescued Chins and Sargeant Pepper from PetSmart. They were being held in a tank with a dead fish, and I couldn’t leave them there. A year or two ago, Chins laid a million eggs, and the boys fertilized them. They ate most of the eggs, but five fry survived. Then they ate three of those. Two of them survived, though. I called them Michio and Carl. Carl is clearly Randy’s spawn, as his coloring is pretty uniform. Michio is likely born of Sargeant Pepper, as she has both his and Chins’ gorgeous shubunkin coloring. I didn’t intend to write so much about my fish, but I adore them. Also, while my brother is living with us, I’m including his turtle in the zoo. His name is Santiago, and he lives on the porch in a kiddie pool.
I graduated from the University of Florida in 2014 with a Bachelor’s in Journalism. I don’t regret going to college, but I also don’t think it was necessary. I interned at a small (and poorly run, if I’m honest) pop culture website in New York City the summer before my senior year. After I graduated, I interned at The Jerusalem Post in, you guessed it, Jerusalem. When I returned to Florida, I worked at an advertising agency for a bit. I enjoyed journalism, but it pulled me away from poetry and creative writing. Once my health went to shit and I stopped working, I got back to what I love. I started this Substack, and here we are.
You can pry my gluten from my cold, dead hands. You will never convince me that anything gluten-free is as good as the real thing. Bread, pasta, crackers, muffins, and waffles bring me joy in all their gluteny goodness. Most people who eat gluten-free don’t actually need to. Do yourselves a favor. Eat gluten. Be happy.
I could watch sports all day, every day. I love sports. Hockey, racing, and baseball are my favorites, but I’ll honestly watch anything. Sport is poetry in motion, and beneath the game itself is a wealth of stories. There are so many storylines and an abundance of emotions. I know the Venn diagram of sports fans and poetry lovers doesn’t have much overlap, but we’re out here.
I guess I have to include the fact that I have multiple sclerosis. I’ve written essays about MS before, but mostly I reference it in offhand comments about fatigue or leg pain. My favorite thing to say about MS is that it fucking sucks, but at least I’ve got a handicap parking permit and a medical marijuana card. This disease derailed my life when I was twenty-six. Now I’m thirty-one. I’m not on the track I thought my life would take, but I’m back on the rails at least. In some ways, I’ve rediscovered the person I thought I would be when I was little.
I don’t work anymore. I tried to keep going after my initial MS diagnosis, but even my relatively easy job as a secretary became too difficult for me. One of the hardest things I’ve had to adjust to is the idea that I’m worthy of existing even though I don’t have a job. This newsletter has helped with that. (Some of you even pay me to write it!) It’s been a reminder that I can have a positive impact on the world even if I do most of that work from my couch. It also helps that my dad does not charge me rent to live with him. Thanks, Dad.
I think that’s it for now. There are so many experiences that make up a person, and sometimes it’s hard to know which ones are most important. I could keep listing facts about myself until I reach the email-length limit, but I won’t. Instead, I’ll just say thanks for being here. These letters wouldn’t matter if no one wanted to read them.
Until next time,
Yardena
Weekend Potpourri
I’m particularly proud of this month’s Symposium from the STSC. The theme is Death, and I fought hard for it. After a bit of initial resistance, though, the STSC has produced some incredible work. Be sure to check it out.
Kimia’s words are like gems sparkling in the sun. Beautiful and poignant thoughts from someone I’m lucky to call a friend.
And if that was a little too much for you, here’s a palate cleanser.
This is a very strange poem about diseases of the teeth. Yes, you read that correctly. I’m mostly sharing it because it makes me think of my mom. When I was a kid, she used to tell me all about the nasty teeth she cleaned. The more gross someone’s mouth was, the happier she was. Love you, Mom.
It’s springtime, so everyone’s talking about cherry blossoms. Here are two different takes on this universal symbol for spring.
Thanks for reading. Introduce yourselves in the comments, even if I know you already. Let’s all learn a bit more about each other.
A (Re)Introduction
Just catching up on your last few posts and saw your sweet note about my essay. Lucky to call you my friend, too, Yardena.
And I'm so with you on the "no bullshit." Finding others who aren't afraid to keep it real is a rare and beautiful thing.
Aw your face!! What a delightful smile and intoxicating face. I'm reading your newsletter while waiting for the Panthers to be pummeled. Fun to know even more about you