Brought down by a $25 battery
Hello friends,
The other night, as I lay in bed trying to sleep, anxiety took hold of my brain. My thoughts raced, leading me down a spiraling path of worry. I let quiet tears fall down my face, hoping the spill of saltwater would trigger my body to release the tension keeping me awake. I don't remember falling asleep.
Until now, I'd been relatively calm amid the turbulent waters of this pandemic. But then the battery for my vape died, and in the week before I could get a new one, my mental health died a bit as well. I wrote previously about the balance I found from using medical marijuana, but I'd forgotten how restless my mind could be without it. To borrow a phrase from my dear friend Cassandra, I felt like I was disappearing.
The good news is that I finally got a new battery. The bad news is that the world is still collapsing. But at least I'm able to cope a little better now. I'm writing again, planning, finding my feet beneath me once more. Sometimes my mind feels tied to the tides, waxing and waning with the moon. But I find solace in the knowledge that expansion follows every contraction. After each exhalation, I once more fill my lungs with life.
I hope you're all waxing, expanding, breathing in fresh air. Feel free to send any tips for increased lung capacity my way.
Until next week, Shabbat shalom,
Yardena