Holy days and self-reflection
Searching for insight as the new year approaches
Hello friends,
Rosh Hashanah begins Monday night, and I’m woefully unprepared. Or rather, I’d be unprepared if life were normal and we weren’t trying to survive the second year of a pandemic.
Normally, I’d be rifling through my Geegee’s recipes and planning a menu. I’d be telling relatives when to arrive for dinner and checking the start times for services. I’d break out my shofar, mainly to laugh at how badly I blow it and to mess with my dog, Mattie. Like last year, though, no family is coming to celebrate. Old friends won’t mingle at synagogue. We prepare, yet again, to observe these holidays alone.
Despite COVID fatigue, we’ve adjusted to this new way of life. We don our masks and work remotely and wonder, wonder, wonder when this will all end. But the holidays bring all that absurdity to the forefront. We know we should be coming together, but the interloper looms over our celebrations. For most of the West, that time of togetherness comes during Christmas. For Jews, though, that time is now.
This month, the Jewish month of Tishrei, is considered the holiest month of the year. We observe our most significant holidays this month, beginning with Rosh Hashanah, the new year. It’s a holiday of balance. We celebrate the past year and welcome in the next, enjoying sweet fruits and nourishing root vegetables. But we also practice teshuvah (repentance). We ask forgiveness from those we have wronged, and we forgive (or try to, at least) those who have wronged us.
This time is one of introspection. Just as the earth begins to wind down for the coming winter, we slow our own lives as well. We look inward at the past year. What kind of person have we become? What do we want to bring with us into the new year, and what do we need to leave behind? How can we become better versions of ourselves?
They’re big questions, even though they seem simple. Often, we already know the answers but are afraid to face their truth. For me, I know I lean too heavily into my illness sometimes. It’s easier to say that MS makes me too tired to do something than commit to better sleep habits. I push responsibilities aside because of depression or anxiety, but I still haven’t sought a new therapist to help me cope. I already know what I need to change in myself, which makes me feel all the more guilty for not changing. I also know that Rosh Hashanah is about forgiving yourself too.
Not many of you are Jews, but I hope you can still take something from the lessons of this month. What are you doing to better yourself? Let me know in the comments.
Wishing you all a sweet new year,
Yardena
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Thanks you for this lovely, thoughtful post. It's a good reminder to me that I usually do a mid-year introspection/ look at how I'm going on my goals for the year, but I haven't yet. My life has stabilised somewhat so now is a good time for reflection.