Hello friends,
I’m in the worst of the Crap Gap now. I don’t get out of bed until noon. I’m not eating enough because I’m too tired to prepare food. Questions like “where do you want to eat for your birthday?” leave me frozen, unable to wrangle my brain cells into an answer. And every weekend that I fail to write you a letter leaves me feeling guilty.
A couple of weeks ago, though, Hank Green talked about a different type of gap: the Sad Gap.
The video is only four minutes long, so I hope you watch it. Hank speaks very eloquently about why we’re all so depressed and anxious. But at one point Hank describes the Sad Gap as “the place where you mix together outrage and hopelessness.” And if that doesn’t describe the state of the world right now, I don’t know what does.
A lot of thoughts are running through my mind about this topic, but my brain is not functioning at its best right now. So I apologize if any of this seems rambling and disjointed. But I wanted to speak to Hank’s point about this being the Sad Gap, not the Sad Place. The world feels so broken right now, but this is not a permanent place we’re stuck in.
For me, making my world smaller and slower has helped. I don’t mean that I ignore all the insanity happening on the planet, but I don’t let it consume me either. When I walk around my neighborhood, I make that my whole world. I watch the jadera bugs breed and grow. I observe the plants from seed to flower to fruit. I learn the names of birds based on their coloring and songs. I leave my phone at home, and I just exist. The squirrels don’t care who’s president or how much gas costs. The bees don’t know about Russia’s war against Ukraine. No matter what people argue about on Twitter, the sun will continue to rise and set each day.
Everything feels like a life or death dilemma these days. But we aren’t helpless. We can change our mindset—and in doing so, change how we approach one another. Anger doesn’t need to be our default emotion. We don’t need to see an attack in every encounter.
The pandemic wreaked havoc in every area of society, but I think the worst thing it did was separate us. We were already drifting apart, and as we became more scared and confused and isolated, we forgot how to be with each other. We became so fearful of being within six feet of someone that we lost the joy of human closeness. We walled ourselves off, but we did it too well. Now we’re all just screaming at the mass of bricks and stones and concrete we thought would protect us.
I don’t have an answer for how we heal. But for me, it started with a new antidepressant and daily meditation. For you, it might be something different. But we need to talk to each other again. We have to recognize that our differences make us beautiful. Can you imagine how boring the world would be if we all agreed on everything? My brother, for instance, hates tomatoes. I think this makes him insane. But I still love him. Not to mention, his hate means more tomatoes for me.
Apologies again if this one was all over the place. MS brain is a mess, but I wanted to reach out anyway. Talk to people. Tell your friends and family you love them. Get to know your neighbors. Don’t be afraid of disagreement. Healthy debate keeps us all on our toes. Just remember that everyone is doing their best. Be kind to each other.
Until next time,
Yardena
Weekend Potpourri
Why the past ten years of American life have been uniquely stupid
It’s easy to blame mental health issues on tech. But is it fair?
Mental disorders aren’t diseases, they’re networks of symptoms
How heroic newsboy funerals brought meaning and identity to urban, working-class youth.
What the New Yorker didn’t say about Alice Walker’s antisemitism
The idea of primitive communism is as seductive as it is wrong
Filed under: Good to know
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