Hello friends,
The weather’s gotten warmer recently, so I’ve been taking more walks. My neighborhood only has one entrance and exit, and I like to walk the loop. The perimeter is 1.06 miles. I know this because I start a walking workout on my Apple Watch before leaving. I usually walk too slowly to record many exercise minutes, but I enjoy seeing the stats when I’m done. I pay them no mind while I’m walking, though. The neighborhood offers more fascinating distractions.
Lately, my favorite point of the walk is the first cul-de-sac at the end of my street. A large golden rain tree (Koelreuteria elegans subsp. formosana) shades the sidewalk there. It isn’t flowering yet, but it will soon, and the Jadera bugs (Jaderahaematoloma) have already arrived in preparation. They’re mating all over the ground below the golden rain tree, their black and red bodies attached at the abdomen. They’re so prolific under the tree that I find myself tip-toeing around the cul-de-sac so as not the disturb them too much. The bugs scurry away from my descending toes and create little pockets for me to step in. I can’t help but smile as I continue on.
If anyone uses the Headspace app, they’ll recognize the term “beginner’s mind.” It refers to the idea of noticing the intricacies of each moment, even the ones you think of as repetitive or recurring. For example, you brush your teeth every morning, but each morning is unique. I use my neighborhood walks as a way to practice beginner’s mind. My path is always the same, but the way I move and the things I observe are constantly changing. The Jadera bugs are mating now, but when the golden rain seeds fall, they’ll feast. And when the weather cools once more, they’ll seek shelter and warmth. The cycle continues, but the details remain beautiful in their intricacies.
I’ve been thinking a lot about “the point of it all” and “why we’re here” and other philosophical ideas that drive us. And, for the first time in my life, I don’t care. I mean, I want to leave an impact on this world. I want to be remembered. But I don’t need those things. I don’t need the world to see me to know that my life is meaningful. I just want to enjoy the ride.
I’m sure this thinking is prompted by my recent serotonin boost. I feel content. The depression, anxiety, and fear that have been driving me have calmed. My muscles have relaxed. I’m happy to sit outside and smoke a cigar while writing to you all. And for today, that’s enough.
See you next week,
Yardena
Weekend Potpourri
This song made me cry in a Dunkin’ drive-through
No other links this week because I haven’t been online much. More next week!